I’m single and HAPPY … OK

Hi, I’m Lina and I’m single.

Wait there’s more… Hi, I’m Lina and I’m single and (wait for it)…. happy.

The amount of times people have asked me ‘when are you going to get married?’, ‘why are you still single?’ or ‘I’m going to set you up with someone, he’s a bit of a player/not that great looking/a little lazy.. (fill in the blank here) but…he’s single too’. It’s like people think I should feel this desperate need to get together with just anyone to release myself from my single status.

Why is being single such a terrible thing to some people?

I’m single and I’m happy.

I really don’t feel the need to jump into a relationship to ‘find my other half’ – I am a whole on my own. I’m strong and independent.

I’m not a man hater or an extreme feminist and I don’t have trust issues with men. When I’m in a relationship I’m happy. As a single individual I’m also happy. Happy for different reasons, but happy nevertheless. I like that I don’t have someone else to have to think about. I realise that sounds selfish – and perhaps it is – but I like that I can do what I want when I want without having to check with another person that they want to do the same thing. I can have a lazy day at home looking like rubbish without a care in the world. I can go out after work and do what I want without thinking ‘Oh, I’ve missed dinner with my partner’ or ‘I should really let him know I’ll be home late’. I just like the spontaneity of my life which I just don’t have when I’m in a relationship. Right now, that works well for me.

‘But what if you miss your chance to have a baby?’ Seriously, I’ve been asked that just recently. Yes, I would like to have a baby one day, but does my happiness have to revolve around that and having a husband? Who’s to say I’ll fall in love with someone who wants to have a baby or someone who CAN have babies? If I give up my single status and fall in love (which apparently is soo important to some people) and it turns out he can’t have babies would I be expected to leave him as I’m now unable to fulfil my ‘duty as a woman’ to have a baby?

Honestly, I think this stereotype and pressure needs to be addressed. How are we in this day and age still pressuring people to be in relationships? Why does a person’s relationship status even matter to others? I know some people who are at their happiest when they are in a relationship and hate being single. Others who aren’t happy in their relationship but stay with their partner because that’s what they are used to. I don’t judge them for that so would expect the same courtesy back at my decision to stay single. It’s MY decision and one that I’m happy with. I’d like to meet someone on my own terms rather than being ‘set up’ with just any single person that my friends or family happen to know.

Don’t get me wrong this isn’t a hate blog about people who believe my relationship status is a discussion point or a hate blog about relationships or men. The point I’m trying to make is, if I’m happy doing something that others don’t understand or agree with – that should be my prerogative. I’m single, not a murderer, just single. I’m happy with that and so should everyone else be.

Lina x

 

 

 

 

 

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